For some time now I’ve been trying to work out some personal problems, realizing it is a constant work in progress. I’ve been working on creating a newer-and-improved “me” to rehab myself sort of speak and not going backward anymore.
I have given myself long enough to really wallow in the misery of my sometimes unfriendly disposition toward people I love and care about. Fooling myself in sometimes with a happy face, I have been angry at myself and muttered over my not so kind dispositions for a while now, such as fussing, doing immature things, not being there as a true friend, not thinking long enough before I speak or react, and the list goes on. I am sick and tired of it, I will not think about this anymore. My unfriendly dispositions and foolishness have lost their usefulness in me.
I will be good to me and everyone around me because my favorite quote after all is “Do unto others as you would want them do unto you”. Unfortunately I got away from that and now I promise “me” to be better prioritized and put boundaries around activities that will keep me healthy and whole, like rest, relaxation, fitness, time with family and friends. I will respect others “me” time as well as “my time” and not be selfish, because I have learned it’s a necessity. Being in a not-so-happy place for the last two years since I retired 1 September 2011, has not been a good thing! The feeling of being overwhelmed with life in general and what to do and being scared about it wondering could I make it once retirement and stuck in the “thinking process” for so long and not acting on anything has finally ended.
And to realize that we all have the choice to live happily ever after and pursue what we strongly believe in. My advise if I may, would be don’t get so wrapped up in the “not knowing” that you lose what’s so important to us. Sometimes we don’t realize we are in a rut and hopefully we can realize it and come out of it ok.